I am not really sure why I need another blog other than I am a writer and this one has a particular theme not apparent in my other posts. I usually use my blogs to impart writing tips and try to encourage the writer in me to share with the writer in all of you out there. I welcome your feedback and love to read your work as well.
This blog, however, is of a more personal - almost life altering - nature. In one of my recent blogs about life and writing and getting things done... inspired, of course, by the arrival of spring... I commented about this life's challenge for me. It often is with me since in everything that has happened, I am the common denominator. One would think that to learn is to change but here I am still fighting the same battle that has burdened me almost all my life.
It is just dealing with it now that I can look back and see the things that made the difference, and the things that sabotaged the whole affair. Weight. It is heavy upon my shoulders and other places, and therein lies the rub. I have worked hard at times, and, at the other extreme have been very blase about it. One would think it would be something to try for - an active, healthy lifestyle that contributes to a body that is able to continue to enjoy the fun things in life. This is nothing to do with image, although, at some point in my blog I am sure how I look will come up. It's natural. You want to not only feel good but also look good. The mental, physical and emotional triad works in synchronicity allowing any imbalance to be absorbed and made up by the other components. It's when all of them are depleted through depression, ill-health, or a general disregard or caring, that one begins to feel the effects of a body that is not treated well.
This blog is to be an on line journal of how to get back on the track to health and wellness. The past few weeks have been hard on me even though I have reason to feel good about things again. We (my daughter and I) recently moved into a new condo-apartment and have a very nice home for ourselves. We make a good team - looking out for each other. Of course, the positive aspects of the move were enabled by the death of something else - the end of a relationship for her, but all in all, it was what was meant to be. The path you travel is laid before you even without your knowledge and how you approach your journey determines its success or failure.
The diametrically opposed feelings that live within me rage as I feel contented to be here and am able to enjoy an inspirational setting to write in - yet my health has me worried. It feels like it has deteriorated to a large degree over the past couple of years and I know it is in part due to the effects my surroundings and self-imposed situations have played upon me. Constant searching and change have wreaked havoc on my life. I have moved too much and it has cost me financially, emotionally and physically. What was or am I searching for? I thought it was someone to love but it really was the inevitable search for who I really am - whether I'm ever with someone or destined to be alone. In the past, I let myself be changed; now I struggle to keep up while I try to revive the real me, hidden beneath the layers of protective fat that accumulate when I try to fill a void left by whatever change is imposed upon me.
I know I should start with accepting that this is who I am and I never will be slim and athletic again. Too much has transpired to regain (oops! don't say regain!) completely what has been lost - my ability to do some things without pain and effort. But I do like me. I like me a lot - I think I am a good person and know I have much I want to contribute yet to this life. So, I can make an effort to do something for me. I can make a concentrated attempt to address my health, change my lifestyle and then, as a result will feel better about me. I know I can do this and this time it is for me.
Today IS the first day of the rest of MY life.
This blog, however, is of a more personal - almost life altering - nature. In one of my recent blogs about life and writing and getting things done... inspired, of course, by the arrival of spring... I commented about this life's challenge for me. It often is with me since in everything that has happened, I am the common denominator. One would think that to learn is to change but here I am still fighting the same battle that has burdened me almost all my life.
It is just dealing with it now that I can look back and see the things that made the difference, and the things that sabotaged the whole affair. Weight. It is heavy upon my shoulders and other places, and therein lies the rub. I have worked hard at times, and, at the other extreme have been very blase about it. One would think it would be something to try for - an active, healthy lifestyle that contributes to a body that is able to continue to enjoy the fun things in life. This is nothing to do with image, although, at some point in my blog I am sure how I look will come up. It's natural. You want to not only feel good but also look good. The mental, physical and emotional triad works in synchronicity allowing any imbalance to be absorbed and made up by the other components. It's when all of them are depleted through depression, ill-health, or a general disregard or caring, that one begins to feel the effects of a body that is not treated well.
This blog is to be an on line journal of how to get back on the track to health and wellness. The past few weeks have been hard on me even though I have reason to feel good about things again. We (my daughter and I) recently moved into a new condo-apartment and have a very nice home for ourselves. We make a good team - looking out for each other. Of course, the positive aspects of the move were enabled by the death of something else - the end of a relationship for her, but all in all, it was what was meant to be. The path you travel is laid before you even without your knowledge and how you approach your journey determines its success or failure.
The diametrically opposed feelings that live within me rage as I feel contented to be here and am able to enjoy an inspirational setting to write in - yet my health has me worried. It feels like it has deteriorated to a large degree over the past couple of years and I know it is in part due to the effects my surroundings and self-imposed situations have played upon me. Constant searching and change have wreaked havoc on my life. I have moved too much and it has cost me financially, emotionally and physically. What was or am I searching for? I thought it was someone to love but it really was the inevitable search for who I really am - whether I'm ever with someone or destined to be alone. In the past, I let myself be changed; now I struggle to keep up while I try to revive the real me, hidden beneath the layers of protective fat that accumulate when I try to fill a void left by whatever change is imposed upon me.
I know I should start with accepting that this is who I am and I never will be slim and athletic again. Too much has transpired to regain (oops! don't say regain!) completely what has been lost - my ability to do some things without pain and effort. But I do like me. I like me a lot - I think I am a good person and know I have much I want to contribute yet to this life. So, I can make an effort to do something for me. I can make a concentrated attempt to address my health, change my lifestyle and then, as a result will feel better about me. I know I can do this and this time it is for me.
Today IS the first day of the rest of MY life.
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