Winding up the Week

It is not that there has been so much happening that I could not post here this week - but it's like all other promises in that sometimes they slide just because they are for our own benefit. The good thing is that my resolve to do this thing did not slide and here I am back at it. My feelings were, however, severely questioned at one point but let me work up to that in the following post.

The week has been like any other although I am trying not to get overly busy and run down again. I did work in a couple of late nights and a few extra hours of work, with a meeting here and there but am trying to take it a bit slower; trying not to overbook my time and schedule while still fitting in the things that are necessary and the things I really want to do. The weather has been weary - raining and cool. It is good for the dry parched land and wild fires but it is dismal on our outlook in some instances. We all adjust and get used to it even if complaining off and on.

Sitting here today I can look back and report without the emotional ups and downs although the dismay that hit me is still there and will be evident to my readers as I write. I thought I was making progress by:

• being more attentive to what I am eating
• drinking more water
• limiting my food intake after 8:00 pm or at the latest 9:00 pm
• eating breakfast
• taking bigger salad or vegetable portions when we have a catered lunch at work
• eating regular meals or smaller meals spaced out to fuel energy
• focusing on positive rather than negative
• not having seconds - except salad or vegetables
• being more aware of what's in something and how many calories it has
  

The things I know I have to improve upon are:

• cutting completely my ties with "comfort" foods - although I am not in any way over indulging in them and am trying to divert my attentions to other activities such as more writing and reading
  
• start walking - been dealing with sore back and legs - I know, I know... I need to do this because I noticed just getting back to work made me tired after I was off ill
• exercise in some way as well as walking
  
• increase water consumption although it is better than it was
• take my vitamins and other required supplements
• keeping a positive attitude
• remembering it's okay to say no
• cutting down some portions and making supper a smaller meal

There are probably a mass of other points that could be included in both lists, however, at this time I cannot remember everything - another reason not to let this post get behind. I must remember it is okay to write a small update everyday rather than sit down and write a book once in awhile.

To culminate the week was my doctor's appointment with my new doctor that finally gets to the meat of the deal. I find that she is awesome in that she is thorough - she asks questions and keeps track of all the details, issues and concerns. I am now going through a barrage of tests to eliminate anything serious and then I must focus on the weight loss. If there is no medical reason not to be doing something then I have no excuse. If my back issue is a constant one I just have to find ways to adjust to it and move on or else I will be constantly fighting this. Stripped naked and exposed to your shortcomings, you must accept what is and do what you can.

It was a mixed bag of emotions after I left the doctor's office and the lab - I am on my way to ensuring my health is of importance, however, my efforts over the last three weeks were not met with the desired results, something I thought would happen. I was dismayed to learn that my weight and blood pressure were both up from my April 30th appointment! I thought things were going well - my clothes were not tighter (I even thought they were at least a bit less snug), I wasn't sick but it might be that getting better did not have the same effect as when my body was getting rid of everything inside; my attitude seemed more positive; the swelling in my legs returned two weeks ago and also better yesterday and today it is still there; perhaps I do let things get to me as my daughter pointed out - "yes, you do stress out..."

I am at a "why me" point and don't want to get hung up on the negatives. I am trying but realize that my efforts have to be even more stringent, focused, strict, demanding, desired, and will be just plain hard work. Am I ready for this? I have to be and am not sure how to begin except that I will try harder and see my doctor again in two weeks.

P.S. The doctor has now recommended that I take Calcium (1500 mg per day) and Vitamin D (1000 units per day) and updated my tetanus shot which is supposed to be done every 10 years after the first vaccine. So... where was my last doctor's head at? I am already feeling better just knowing my new doctor is thinking of what's best for me.