October. It's debatable whether or not this month is one of my favorites. There are so many things good about it and so many things bad about it. It's all in the perspective, I guess. Last time I wrote I was despondent to change, still reeling in my emotional wash - and, unfortunately, that hasn't changed. As I read over the post, I realize and know in my heart I must make the effort as no one else can do that for me. Since then, I have attended the first session of my steps to a healthier life - a doctor prescribed program offered by our health services. But that's it - session one introduction. Another binder of reminders for $25. I've made no time for anything else. Is it any wonder? I am busy. Always going - work, company, volunteer, events, sales, meetings... I justify my neglect by pointing to everything else I have to do. Things I have attached to my life that seem to have more importance than my health. I know that is not true. I promise to make an effort.
My daughter has changed dramatically over the summer and has embraced a healthy lifestyle - going to the gym, watching what she eats, eliminating bad foods from her diet, eating clean. She looks great and continues to move in the right direction. I am proud of her but she is not happy with me. I can't move like I need to, liked I used to... in order to let go of the weight. I am trying my best to eat better, make better choices, make concessions - it's hard when food fills a void, though. It's my emotional comfort, releasing feel good hormones into my system, even though the feel good doesn't last, in one way, and has everlasting effects in others.
I want to just get past this week. This week, last year, changed my life forever. I am working on purging things, cleaning house, making changes, doing what needs to be done - I will get to me after I get through this week.
No comments:
Post a Comment