Relax my schedule, they say...

The "they" I refer to, at least in relation to the above comment, is a dear friend who has a vested interest in my health by virtue of being a dear friend. That is what "they" do - care about what happens to you and provide support even when from afar because they are friends. I appreciate everyone who reads my about my personal challenge as it gives me fuel to find more courage.

The most important thing in any issue is the support and encouragement you get from those around you. It would be a long and arduous journey if there were no one around to care whether you weathered your challenge or succumbed to the storm. The quest itself should still hold relevance because an important part of any challenge is, of course, the part you play in your own successes or failures. Sometimes this is a difficult point to remember - if there were no one around, you still have to be diligent about your health. At this point of my challenge, I am between those extremes of winning and losing, although I admit, I am still looking forward to succeeding and am resisting the urge to reflect on past failures. Just for the records, in my challenge losing would be winning, literally.

With regard to my schedule - relaxing it would not be beneficial to me at this time because keeping active beyond all normal busy is a good distraction from the comfort of food. If I fill the need with other activities, I can fill my time but that does not mean I can avoid filling my face with food because it is not about the biological need to eat. My doctor talked about me going on appetite suppressants - after all my tests are in to confirm there is nothing medically wrong with my health - part of the next step. I am reluctant to do so although I really, really want to take whatever help I can get to get that needed boost toward losing. BUT it is not the appetite that drives me to food. It is not a suppressant that will keep me from eating it. Sometimes I wish they didn't make things that taste so good; if it all tasted yucky then there would not be that desire to put it in my mouth.

I recently saw a show that tested diet products and am thinking that the spray that tasted like a dessert might work in my case, as I think it is the taste I desire and when triggered an emotional spot on my brain goes "mmmmmore........" There is probably scientific-medical-like language or definition for this but it's easier to explain like this. If I tasted cheesecake every second of the day... would I quit eating for no other reason than to taste desire?

Well, being in love triggers that spot for me, too. When distracted by THAT desire, the propensity to eat declines significantly. So, here I am. What are you waiting for? If you are "weighting" for me to lose weight, I won't be interested in you - because I am inside who I really am and I'm getting better at liking who I am really supposed to be.