Yes, the title is the name of a disastrous apocalyptic movie, however, that state is quite descriptive of my report, my feelings and my results, at this time. The day, in short, did not go well... All my efforts, although not for naught, did not add up to the positive change I had hoped for. True, I am not as diligent as I should to be and have made the comment regarding my lackadaisical attitude at times. I am not, on purpose, sabotaging my challenge but I feel that my less than concentrated effort contributes to its lack of success. I am not prepared to do more exercise to win this challenge - I feel that my "accomplishment" of staying away from back pills is enough to keep me going and doing a little more, here and there. I'm a desk person who runs marathons with words and I know that doesn't help lessen my weight any, but that's where I am happy. To me, being happy equals feeling good and eating less. Don't ask me where the downfall is - because I just can't explain it with the changes that have been made. How bad was it, you ask?My predictions were both wrong. My cholesterol actual hovers a smidgen above what it was at my last appointment AND I gained 2 lbs! NOT a happy camper today. No...
I talked to my doctor and told her of my exasperation. I knew that no change in my cholesterol meant pills but we talked and I decided I would try a prescribed diet pill first to see if it makes a difference for me. It is an appetite suppressant and knowing the emotional draw to food, the feel good feeling of taste, etc. I have my doubts whether they will suppress anything, if I really want to eat. Open mind. Open mind. (Close mouth...) Another up side, if you want to call it that, is my health plan from work actually covers these things (the pharmacist commented on the fact that most don't) so bonus. I will try the dosage for two weeks and watch for any adverse side effects (trying to block out those commercials that list the side effects a mile long making the original condition not so bad...lol) I go back in two weeks to check blood pressure, etc. and see what dosage I can manage. Start tomorrow when I pick up the prescription (Meridia), so will report from there what happens next.
In the meantime, I continue to try to cut out all that is not good for me - the stuff I know is not good for me yet I seem to be attached to it, despite the love for great tasting healthy food. Diligence. Persistence. Perseverance. Challenge. Frustration.
It reallly sucks when this happens! I'm there...doing that...now! Anyway, keep up the new life style. I wonder if our bodies just don't get set in their ways and rebell at the loss. Onward and Upward!
ReplyDeleteI think there is an emotional undertow that keeps us grounded, so to speak, all the while we are overcome with tidal waves of life.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder if my body (as you say) is rebelling against finding a new desirous look. Face it, if I were attractive to someone and then got involved with someone, what time would I have to share? Perhaps, my lot in life has been found (writing, publishing, writer's group) and unless the significant other were involved as much, do you think there is enough time for a relationship? Also, there is another reason that I am loathe to admit here in public forum but it sits in the back of my mind - it involves "sexual" relations - not relationships. Will leave at that, but suffice it to say, my body has probably decided what's best for me as I am moderately healthy even considering my weight issue.
oh... the battle rages all around, and the challenge is forever there.