Another Week Gone Bye-bye

Considering the overall changes I've made (few) and the progress I feel is there, (perhaps all in my mind) I would have to say I don't feel too bad, considering all. I will have to check in with the doctor again next week (I forgot to phone on Friday!) if I am to refill the diet pills - I let four weeks go by instead of two for a check in. Then, I'll have to go again in two or three weeks to have my blood work rechecked and hopefully six weeks on Crestor will result in some kind of change (minuscule?). I've been managing to fit breakfast in every day (Fiber 1 and fruit and 1% milk) and by taking a lunch I find that I am really not too hungry at supper time. (too lazy to cook anyway...) Diet-wise I am hanging in there, noticing at times I am diligent at refusing to give in to certain cravings, then turn around and in another instance, I cave. Just a small cave like something chocolate with nuts or an ice cream - no chips or fries or donuts (small greasy victories). I don't weigh myself all the time (don't have a scale at home) so gauging by some of my clothes and comparing the way they used to fit to how they fit now, I think I could safely say I have lost a couple more pounds. The horror (ugh!) of it all is a scary realization that looking trim and firming up is not going to happen without exercise to tone muscles and bring in that skin that seems to have lost its elasticity. I guess it's only me that has to deal with the sight of a baggy body, so I do (I close my eyes or dress in the dark... lol) - I don't expect to get too close to anyone in the near future, anyway. Lost my desire? No, but just facing a reality that certain things might not be in the stars for me. I feel sad when I think like that and then have to bite it, before I bite off something to chew and eat it and then the vicious cycle begins... There are many things going on in my head right now, that focusing on one thing to change is not easy. There is no use worrying about the future wondering what's going to happen and what changes might need to be made. I thought I had that worrying thing under control but I realize lately that my daughter is probably right - I worry too much about too many things. "No, I don't" I say but some annoying habits have come to my attention that can only indicate a nervousness or agitation of some sort. I am thinking (or hoping as a way to explain it) maybe it's a reaction or side effect to the pills I am on, but I'm not sure. My nails have always taken the brunt of it and I can be good and leave them alone - then they're gone like they were on the chopping block or something. My cuticles are a mess and with the cooler weather, dry skin is returning with a vengeance. I have also noticed that my mouth is really bothering me - today, culminating in an obsession that I cannot quit even if I consciously try to - I've been picking at teeth, sucking on gums, poking with tongue into crevices - and now my tongue and lips hurt and my mouth has an uncomfortable dryness... yuck! It's enough to make me cry (and I do, at times, for a moment, then move on) and I wish I could explain all this so I understood it, and I know if I can't, others surely won't. This is one of those posts that goes no where fast, except downhill; brought on by guilt of not writing to my challenge sooner and being too tired earlier to want to and then after deciding it was time to go to bed, keep on plugging (playing stupid computer games) away and all of a sudden it's midnight and there is nothing more to do but write something foolish and long-winded. It's a confession, I guess, or a virtual visit with a couch-less shrink - myself. I need a diversion...

How about that weather today?