Somewhere.....

Somewhere there is a good reason why I have not been diligent in my posts - and I think it's buried SOMEWHERE under all the paperwork I have been doing lately. I have been asked "when do you sleep?" but surprisingly enough, I actually get enough and find I only really long for one morning a week that I don't have to abide by the alarm clock's ring. Perhaps all the activity has contributed to my increased stress levels but I'm not sure - I always love to keep busy and don't want to think that doing too much, even in areas where you are passionate, can be detrimental to one's health.

I am well under the effects of the dual medications now, and am due to see my doctor again to check my blood pressure and weight after 2 weeks on 15mg dose diet pills. It's another 4 weeks yet until I check my cholesterol level and I hope that by taking these pills I am able to control what seems to be elusive without. I am well aware it takes a concentrated effort to remain healthy and make changes that contribute to an overall lifestyle change. Small steps. I continue to make little things into good habits, and with further concentration on the challenge at hand, I am certain I can make further changes if I apply myself.

So other than feeling a bit tired, off and on, I have not been feeling too bad - the side effects have diminished and I don't seem to be experiencing anything negative from taking them - I am able fall asleep and stay asleep and the headaches have subsided. That said, I am still dealing with the urge to eat, however, when facing emotional situations. This is the area that concerns me with taking appetite suppressants - yes, I have noticed less hunger and have cut down on the serving sizes. This is the most important thing to be diligent in - most servings we eat are really 2 or 3 times what we should have and as I contemplate that stupid little double cheeseburger that packs a 430 calorie punch in a very little wrapper, I know that counting calories and bringing down your intake is paramount - especially if output is not increased to compensate!

This challenge constantly brings about change and in return, varies depending upon the change happening. A cooler weather pattern has me thinking warmth and I am fearful of those foods that offer comfort packaged with calories. It also means I must make sure to continue eating cold salads, fresh vegetables and fruit and, oh yes, drinking my water as required. Cold and cold just don't go together. And sometimes I think I'm just being lazy as it's easy to stay completely away from the kitchen - too much trouble to cook good food, all that chopping and sauteing - but then I realize I have to in order to eat well. It's also costly to buy a salad on the way home every day.

Those emotional stressors that accompany far off thoughts, perceived changes that may or may not appear on the horizon, the inner knowledge of things that are not as they should be, the worrisome "what-ifs" - are all concerns and for the moment, how I deal with them, or not deal with them, results in how I feel emotionally and what I feel like doing physically - all this affects action pertaining to a healthy lifestyle. The feel good boost from a chocolate bar or ice cream or... whatever... does a lot to ease the mind of troublesome thoughts because it brings your focus to the hedonistic value of taste and "savoring the moment," however fleeting that may be. Perhaps they can make a pill that would deal with (or at least make you forget about) debt, saving, making a home, growing old, keeping those you love near... a mega kg dose of dealing.

It's more than just a challenge at times - it's a struggle .