It's Sunday evening and on some calendars and with all due respect to technicalities, it's actually the first day of the week. For working folk, however, Monday is the new start to any work week. Therefore, I am winding the week down with a Sunday evening post (lol, isn't that Saturday?).
Not a lot to report - still trying to remember to drink my water. It seems to be harder when at home - don' t ask me why - I just realized yesterday about 3 or 4 in the afternoon that I hadn't even finished one bottle of water yet. *Yes, I am being "green" by refilling the same bottle so that I don't have to invest in mega-loads-of-bottled-water to keep my quota or fill up our landfill with an over abundance of already thin as paper plastic bottles - like I'm going to do that all by myself AND, anyway, I turn them in for the measly 10cents on each 500 ml...
I have not been overeating. I have even been trying to space out my eating over the day with 4 little meals and am not eating (except for that granola bar the other night) after 9:00 pm. I have not had any potato chips (a weakness) since the start of this blog, although, last night's meal at a friend's house had taco chips mixed in the casserole. Not counting it! My thinking today was that if I cut up and add vegetables to everything I think I'm getting the right idea and doing better. My thinking included green onions, celery, fresh dill, yellow or purple or white onions, garlic, etc. etc... then I thought of carrot cake. Yeah! It has vegetables! A sound theory. Don't worry, no carrot cake in the house and pay day is a few days away yet.
So another weekend past. The knees are sore; the back catches now and again so I make sure that I get up from the computer and stretch (ouch!) okay walk around the apartment a bit. The feet are not as swollen, either. All in all, if I consider everything as a big lump, it's going okay. If I stop to think of things, within or without my control, I sometimes choke back a tear. On the other extreme, I can make a joke. Like the Facebook game, you know with top answers to questions... well, it gives you a chance to post fun questions for your friends. Although, one friend posted the "what candy bar would you be caught stealing" question, I posted the "what company would not hire me" question, knowing that Victoria's Secret probably wouldn't consider me for any runway job. LoL> come on, I can laugh... *sob*sob*
All kidding aside, sometimes I don't feel like the same person on the outside that I am on the inside - that fiery Aries is no longer smoldering 'hot' but rather burned out at this point; I'm feeling a little "grey" since the passing of my birthday and I'm not sure if it's my mood, but only my hairdresser knows for sure ;) My mind is strong and I can still imagine me doing things I can no longer even consider possible physically - like 'long walks on the beach, making love or even dancing all night long.' My memory of feeling fulfilled is not a distant memory but it's an emotionally hollow one. There are other things to fill me; it's all relevant to how I feel at a particular moment. My writing fills me. My friends and family fill me. I keep busy with my job and volunteer work, but if I let my guard down, food fills me.
It's a vicious cycle and I would like to get off the ride now, please.
Not a lot to report - still trying to remember to drink my water. It seems to be harder when at home - don' t ask me why - I just realized yesterday about 3 or 4 in the afternoon that I hadn't even finished one bottle of water yet. *Yes, I am being "green" by refilling the same bottle so that I don't have to invest in mega-loads-of-bottled-water to keep my quota or fill up our landfill with an over abundance of already thin as paper plastic bottles - like I'm going to do that all by myself AND, anyway, I turn them in for the measly 10cents on each 500 ml...
I have not been overeating. I have even been trying to space out my eating over the day with 4 little meals and am not eating (except for that granola bar the other night) after 9:00 pm. I have not had any potato chips (a weakness) since the start of this blog, although, last night's meal at a friend's house had taco chips mixed in the casserole. Not counting it! My thinking today was that if I cut up and add vegetables to everything I think I'm getting the right idea and doing better. My thinking included green onions, celery, fresh dill, yellow or purple or white onions, garlic, etc. etc... then I thought of carrot cake. Yeah! It has vegetables! A sound theory. Don't worry, no carrot cake in the house and pay day is a few days away yet.
So another weekend past. The knees are sore; the back catches now and again so I make sure that I get up from the computer and stretch (ouch!) okay walk around the apartment a bit. The feet are not as swollen, either. All in all, if I consider everything as a big lump, it's going okay. If I stop to think of things, within or without my control, I sometimes choke back a tear. On the other extreme, I can make a joke. Like the Facebook game, you know with top answers to questions... well, it gives you a chance to post fun questions for your friends. Although, one friend posted the "what candy bar would you be caught stealing" question, I posted the "what company would not hire me" question, knowing that Victoria's Secret probably wouldn't consider me for any runway job. LoL> come on, I can laugh... *sob*sob*
All kidding aside, sometimes I don't feel like the same person on the outside that I am on the inside - that fiery Aries is no longer smoldering 'hot' but rather burned out at this point; I'm feeling a little "grey" since the passing of my birthday and I'm not sure if it's my mood, but only my hairdresser knows for sure ;) My mind is strong and I can still imagine me doing things I can no longer even consider possible physically - like 'long walks on the beach, making love or even dancing all night long.' My memory of feeling fulfilled is not a distant memory but it's an emotionally hollow one. There are other things to fill me; it's all relevant to how I feel at a particular moment. My writing fills me. My friends and family fill me. I keep busy with my job and volunteer work, but if I let my guard down, food fills me.
It's a vicious cycle and I would like to get off the ride now, please.
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