Oh, where, oh where...

...has my little dog gone or where, oh where, have I been?

First off, no little dog here so no little dog gone. And secondly, been nowhere different from my usual, normal, crazy week with a slight bit of down time about Thursday. It's funny I can usually gauge the week by my overwhelming propensity to want to nap by Thursday afternoon - and to top it all off, it would be considered a "short" week by all those who have a holiday Monday in their schedule.

I can add up the number of things I accomplished, however, and see that the desire for sleep was a normal occurrence and probably one felt by many - considering the weather. The grey skies, wind and cold tend to make one want to just stay curled up in bed deep under the down, dreaming of a long morning sleep-in and a slow cup of coffee once the urge to venture forth hits... if it does.

I was up bright and shining on my holiday Monday to be out the door and at the lab for blood work - I have a multitude of tests to complete and I am thankful that I have a young doctor who seems to be very thorough in her examination of new patients. I am hoping that all turn out great and, if so, then it is on to working on the weight issue with more attention and focus than I have already been attempting. More willpower and positive choices are required to make a difference - it's just difficult getting there all at once. I received a few emails and visited Internet news links that provided information on various dieting topics; most of the tips extol the virtues of a natural, healthy lifestyle. There are those things you should ensure are included in your diet (blueberries, garlic, olive oil) as well as those things that should be avoided (artificial sweeteners, white flour) - at all costs.

My report for this week: I made small victories in that I, on two occasions, chose salad when I went out to eat. Yes, it accompanied the main part of the meal (chicken wrap for one, a chicken sandwich for another) but it was better than choosing the alternative - fries. The down side to this was that, yes, I went out twice for meals - one for a birthday lunch at work and one for an evening out with a friend. I would beg to argue that the emotional and social aspects of these meals were more beneficial than the actual food - sometimes it's nice not to worry about the things that haunt you because living in complete denial only brings you down - depressing!

I have made meals; I have ignored meals; I parked further from my destination one day to walk more; I parked closer on another; I felt happy; I felt "what the hell" another time; I drank my water; I cried... and I've asked why. Why am I doing this? How could I have possibly let myself get to this point? Can I hang in there?

The short answers are: for me, because, and yes, I'll try. I realize that there are too many opportunities out there to not care and make it a priority. There are too many moments to still enjoy with family and friends. There are still many mountains to climb.

...and there are still millions of words to write.

The Answer is Blowing in the Wind

I guess that's the one of the comments that speaks to something that obviously doesn't have a convenient in your face answer. It also speaks to the day and the weather conditions outside. Leave it to Alberta to fan the fires with high temperatures, low moisture levels and increased wind velocity. I say this in reference to the wildfires that burn out of control northeast of here and it reminds me that there is always something worse than your own condition. Some things you can control - others are beyond it.

As we move through this life, lessons are learned and one would think they would have been learned long ago; however, sometimes the repetition of errors and the anguish of painful choices is the only way that correct answers eventually sink in. Like taking care of you- eating right, living healthy, keeping a positive attitude. It's what's right yet it is these very conditions that have to be applied, tried and relied upon for consistency.

Contentment and placement have never been my strong suit - there has always been some reason to move on, to change, to do something other than the status quo. Change for the sake of change just adds to an already disheveled lifestyle. Grounded. I need to be grounded - to the earth and nature - to natural and calm. It takes practice and application, but I see some light in the distance and there is always hope.

Our move away from convenience (as in fast food) and deletion of additives (as in preservatives and artificial) is making us (Kelsey and I) more aware of how certain things make us feel. Once you start to make a change, you realize the difference a little bit at a time can make. Cutting out greasy, fatty, high calorie empty foods that provide no nutritional value are one way to start to feel that change occurring. This is the kind of change we need. No French fries, potato chips, donuts, diet pop, canned goods that contain too much salt or MSG, etc... Can I have more fresh vegetables and fruit please? Yes. Definitely, yes!

It's a job in itself to keep up with this awareness but is it not the kind of thing that makes life better? Like I said before, some of these things should be done away with on the societal level to impose a widespread, healthy community cure. I can report that I feel a difference for me already and see it in Kelsey, as we both move together in support of a change that makes living and being healthy a priority.

There are still miles to go - but at least we are on the right path.