Eat Your Colors

COLOR IS GOOD

Yesterday I went to the doctor

For my yearly physical.

My blood pressure was high.

My cholesterol was high.

I'd gained some weight,

and I didn't feel so hot.

My doctor said, eating right

doesn't have to be complicated and

it would solve my physical problems.

He said:

Just think in colors.

Fill your plate with bright colors.

Try some greens, oranges, reds,

maybe something yellow, etc.

So I went right home

and ate an entire bowl of

Bright colors.

Yup, I'm happy now...

Side Effects

Keep plenty of Acetaminophen on hand for those pesky headaches! Side effects! I must stop using the !!! the text is almost too loud. I have had afternoon headaches for the past two days and guess what the top side effect is for Crestor? Yup, you guess it - headaches. Oh, yes and stomach pains, nausea and I've been having afternoon upsets to accompany my lovely headaches. The good thing is that with a couple of Tylenol (or less expensive store brands :) by evening the problems have subsided and I'm able to concentrate somewhat on what I want to do. Last night I took most of the time off just to watch a TV show, play a game or two, then still managed to make it to almost midnight, although I planned to hit the pillow at least an hour earlier.

I woke up last night - one of the things that plagued my nights when I first started the diet pills - but went right back to sleep. Woo hoo - don't need insomnia, too.

Another oddity - eating whole wheat products causes indigestion. And that's suppose to be good for you. Go figure. Been good with the morning fiber, though, and fruit when at all possible. Perhaps tonight I'll have some salmon and vegetables. Mmm, eating healthy is good for me.

Good for me.

Confessions of a Cholesterol-holic

Not sure if there is even such a thing or person or condition - but it could be connected to the deep feelings we have with things we know are not good for us, yet still devour on occasion. This is where the confession part comes in, and geez, it's out there for all the world to know. I have eaten some things I know are not good for me but can't help myself - every once in awhile I get cravings, okay blind urges to indulge: that croissant with coffee the other day, the chocolate bar from the last stand before the check-out counter with groceries, the piece of dessert with lunch the other day at work, and that scrumptious piece of homemade pie after supper on the weekend... I know we need to allow ourselves that little bit of leeway because if we don't it just nags at us until we really cave.

I also wonder if I am really trying as hard as I can. Sometimes I think wow, victory and other times I feel like I am not really giving this the chance it deserves. I deserve. I am wondering how many little bad things eliminate all the good things you are attempting, achieving, and succeeding at. There have been changes for the better, and yet, there is so much more to do.

Tomorrow I go for the results of my cholesterol re-testing that the doctor ordered. The delay was to allow me to try and bring the numbers down myself with changes to diet, etc. I am not sure how it will go but I will place my prediction here and will compare once I get my results in the morning: I was at 4.0 LDL (bad) which is twice what it should be, although, overall I was told that I was only moderately high. I will predict I managed to bring it to a 3.6. I will also get myself weighed in and will predict that I lost 6 1bs. since my last doctor's appointment on June 23rd. It's not so much that I feel I was trying extremely hard to bring my numbers down, but I did make changes and ensure that some things become habits.

The Mayo Clinic rates the following 5 food categories or items to be the best in an attempt to lower bad cholesterol, while actually leaving good cholesterol alone or even raising it:
1. Eat foods high in fiber, such as oatmeal, oat bran or others - kidney beans, apples, pears, barley, and prunes are very good sources. *Kelsey and I have been watching the labels and trying to up our fiber intake. I believe a previous posting pondered the predicament of making precious pals with fiber packed food. We have bought a cereal that has 14g of fiber in 1/2 c.
2. It is recommended that you have two servings a week of fish and/or omega-3 fatty acids. Salmon, sardines, Albacore tuna and halibut are great examples - but remember to bake or grill them so as to not add unwanted fat to the fish. A supplement is good for some of the daily recommended allowances but fish is a better source due to the selenium content. *Although, we have had salmon recently we have not picked up the pace to twice a week yet. We have, however, been taking a daily flax oil supplement which is a source of omega-3 fatty acids. One of her clients recommended it to my daughter - this lady and her mother are living a very healthy life at 80 and 100.
3. Although high in calories, nuts - without salt or sugar coatings - are an excellent choice. Just a handful of walnuts, almonds, hazelnuts, pecans, peanuts, pistachios, and some pine nuts will do the trick. *We don't have them handy all the time, but I love nuts! Glad they are on the list but I do have to remember "only a handful" ... it's easy to get carried away.
4. Olive oil. Extra virgin olive oil. Use 2 tablespoons per day in place of other fats - saute vegetables, use as a marinade or a salad dressing. The warning is the same as nuts - it's high in calories so keep it to the minimum. *I use olive oil for cooking but must remember its other uses for vegetables and salads. I have a history with olive oil - when I was having problems with gall stones when I was younger, 2 tablespoons per day (right off the spoon!) helped soften stones enough to pass them. It finally got to me - the stones not the oil - and it seems that organ has no real use as I didn't have to be on a special diet in any way. Pity!
5. Foods with added plant sterols or stanols... this is confusing because it seems that common sterols are cholesterol (??? - maybe the good kind) and stanols are naturally occurring substances that block the absorption of sterols (??? - okay, that means they are the bad kind) - if anyone can comment and straighten this out for me - great - otherwise we'll let it be. Anyway, some margarine, orange juice, and yogurt drinks contain these components. *We use Becel (free advertising here, hope someone from Becel is reading this... :) and have tried a few different "blends" including: olive oil, low calorie, vegan, and regular. We prefer anything but the low calorie as that one just leaves your bread surface mushy - what's up with that? The others are great, almost tasting too good.

If we take all things above into consideration, there has been significant movement towards eating healthier. The best insurance is, of course, to cut back on total fat consumption especially saturated or trans fats. Reading those labels can be enlightening and trying to juggle all meals and snacks around what's needed and what's not is sometimes quite an act. But we are managing.

Well, time for the pursuit of another thing that does a body good - sleep. Good night and good cholesterol.

Keeping it a Priority

Tonight I realized I haven't written as many blogs this month, and in fact, the posts have steadily decreased since I started writing here at the end of March. After four months, my explanations and excuses could be many and varied, but perhaps there is some remnant of success that explains the apparent lackadaisical posting process.

The need to put things down on paper is a cleansing that purges bad thoughts, ill will and other misconceived components that clog up, not only the mind and spirit, but the physical body as well. The connection between all three facets of our being are not easily separated and when one does not function up to par, the others, in their attempt to compensate, sometimes fall behind as well. My attempt to document my challenge gained momentum as it plunged full speed ahead. I had something to prove - that my weight and the repeated efforts to lose it, are my challenge. No one else can do that for me, although, I am blessed with a wonderful support system - something required in any of life's challenges.

During the beginning of this effort, I found I had to make myself realize the areas that are my downfall and by writing about them, I was able to identify the things that I needed to change about myself in order to direct a change in things that were not going well for me. The repetition was systematic and I wrote more and posted regularly, in a scheduled manner, much like the one that is needed to take control of your eating, your exercise, your water consumption, your supplement and vitamin taking, toward implementing a general change in your life and your lifestyle.

Now, I am not claiming great feats of accomplishment but there is a balance that happens to show that the efforts are working in some respects. I don't have to continue to remind myself to drink more water, for instance. I always have a glass of water at home, or a bottle of water on my desk at work, and am enjoying just a glass of water with meals instead of other beverages. Pop and flavored-artificially-sweetened waters are no longer part of my regular intake. An overly busy life was usually the reason/excuse for fast food stops - I am just as busy but even when tired, it is more appealing to cook something healthy upon arriving home, than to stop and fill a hunger need with unhealthy substances. I have had the occasional McD's breakfast but nothing that would constitute a habit-forming precedence. I have, however, made taking multi-vitamins, D3, Flax Oil, and Calcium supplements a habit and this could contribute to the "feeling better in the bones." Mind you, there are still some aches and minor pains, but getting better all the time.

The Canada Health Food Guide recommendations have become a part of our routine - Kelsey and I are beginning to watch our intake to ensure we are getting the required servings of fruits, vegetables, protein, dairy products, grains ... and fibre. Once you start, believe me it works! Sweets are limited, white flour products are not used (whole wheat pasta is awesome!) and we are cooking more meals with olive oil using any and all non-fry methods of cooking. It takes time to get yourself into a routine but it soon becomes the norm. The secret to keeping yourself in a forward motion is not getting all hung up on days that might not seem as good - allowing yourself that craving once in awhile makes all the difference in accepting the rest of the time in a healthy way. Going out for a meal doesn't have to throw you off your "diet" if you just remember to select something that contributes to your change, rather than sabotaging it. (No fries!)

My concern that blogging here is reduced because of my concentration on the necessary changes can be taken as somewhat of a success, even though I am miles away from the award presentation! This is going to be continuous and is a matter that must be take seriously from now on.

My continuing challenge is to remember where I was, where I am, and where I am going. I am happy to say that my spirit is strong and here's hoping that my knees and hips last just as long.

Funny thing happened...

It's another day down on another holiday weekend and we are 3/4 ways through the long of it. In explanation - it was a long, long weekend for me anyway with Thursday AND Friday off. Glad to have the extra time to work on the extra paperwork and extra jobs associated with the extracurricular activities. Writing and publishing business is exciting and helps to keep my mind on other matters and off of food. Or, at least, I'm trying...

I feel good, even though, I am experiencing the odd bout of distracting woe - cannot explain it other than the occasion has come up to sometimes say the words "alone" and in realizing that I am able to devote the time to establishing companies and writing lengthy and frequently required documents without consideration for anyone but myself. Doesn't that sound heavenly? In fact, it is - so it escapes me why I am feeling down at times and those are the times I fear because dependency steps in to soothe a solitary soul.

It's like giving me a bag of leftover cookies to keep for the next event - really?

*Snap out of it* The good news to share that I cannot explain any more than my dependency on the comfort of food is the fact that I have not had to take a back pill for the last week. I ran out of the muscle relaxants the doctor prescribed to try instead of over the counter combinations and I ran out last Sunday. Thinking I'd pick up the refill at the pharmacy on Monday on my way home after I managed to get through the day - it surprised me to find that I didn't need to take anything. I did not stop to fill prescription. It is not miraculously healed - I know that if I pushed myself too far I would need something for the pain and there are some things that quickly remind me of the weakness with a twinge of "oh, that's not right" - but I've just continued going along doing what I need to do and it's brought me to a week without. I think that's a small victory but I am unsure what I can attribute it to?!?!?!?

I spent last night as a volunteer at the Freewill Players Shakespeare in the Park. It was a wonderful night and although I left before it was completely finished I totally enjoyed the walk through the park, my job at the box office, and sitting with hot chocolate to warm me as I watched the players. It started to cool down - I'm talking long-sleeved shirt, our volunteer t-shirt and fleece hoodie - cool. Time to leave while there was still a smile on my face and no pain in my back. My knees and feet hurt a bit (not the best shoes :) but all's well that end's well, today. Last year I had to cancel out because I could not make it through the night of volunteering - this year I was determined to get back to my normal and enjoy the things I love to do.

Crossing all fingers (which by the way, makes typing very difficult) that these little victories continue, without celebratory foods. Bring on the wine!

I Didn't Fall off the Wagon

Ha! So, here it is - my post will show that I am a week behind and that really isn't true at all. I've just not been HERE to post and not because I haven't been thinking about writing here. The commitment has made a permanent dent in the back of my mind, reminding me that "you have to post on your challenge or they'll all think you've given up and gone home..." Well, my dear reader-follower-friends (you know who you are) I have not fallen off the wagon or under the apple cart or even succumbed to a fast-f00d frenzy of macs and fries and cakes and pies.

Not a chance! I am glad I waited until today to post because I am feeling quite good about most things. Some time along the way I might have been singing and writing a different tune, but today went well enough. I didn't even have to take a back pill - in all reality, I ran out and haven't been to the pharmacy to refill 'em but chanced the day without, remaining upright and regular enough to post this message somewhat late in the evening.

So mid-week last week, I went into the doctor's office to discuss some results. I do believe I mentioned that in my last post and at the time I remember feeling a little at odds with the whole situation given her usual procedure - she doesn't call you unless something needs to be discussed or something is wrong. Well, worry. Can you say "osteopenia?" It appears I have a thinning of the bones - not as serious as osteoporosis but could be a precursor - which cannot really be reversed although it can be slowed or stopped or something with pills and what have you. I have recently taken to the habit of calcium and vitamin D3 so have chosen to take the year to see how the situation measures up by then. Some pills are an apparent pain to take; some are expensive but work and are not covered by health plans; some are inexpensive and are covered by health plans and are a scheduling nightmare; shots are available that last a long time, however, cost hundreds of dollars and are, again, not covered. Oh, decisions, decisions. How about none? The good news is that tests showed my heart is good (it's also true, although a little cracked) and the mamms are apparently healthy even if a bit lumpy...

I am still watching what I eat, literally, although with some abandon but with constant reminder that: I must eat certain things, can't eat certain things, and I don't care either way and eat some things, anyway. I am drinking lots of water, and no, I haven't taken up any form of sweat-producing or weight-bearing exercise. That whole suggestion threw me considering my knees already have a problem "bearing" the weight I have already, why not throw in a bit more, for good measure? Don't know what I'm waiting for but it just doesn't seem to fit into the plan right at the moment. I'm busy writing, building publishing empires, and keeping up with everything else on my plate. Not literally.

My successes in other areas, at times, take attention off this challenge - but it never goes away. I am reminded of it when: I can't find clothes to wear because I have to wear the same things over and over that fit me right now; I limit what I do, even if I feel not so bad, because I know I will pay for it in the end (or there abouts); I don't have a relationship to speak of or can claim to have had anything remotely close to what I would call a date, of late; and I couldn't lie on the bone density machine bed thingy for fear of it collapsing into a huge heap of imaging metal...... okay, it wasn't that bad and... they have alternatives for us larger people. And although I have not lost weight further to the last weigh-in, I have not gained anthing, except perspective :)

All humor aside, this is no laughing matter. I intend to do what I can to combat this foe and do take this challenge seriously, at least 99% of the time. That remaining 1% has to exist to allow me to get that kick-it-in-the-butt realization that something has to be done because it is.... do it or die.

p.s. in posting this, I wish my mom a speedy recovery from a sudden bladder infection - be strong and flush it away - love you!

Moderately Well

Sometimes I think things are going smoothly and I am contented that the little effort is paying off and then it goes south for a bit and then climbs again... rising and falling like the waves on the ocean with nothing between you and the bottom but a PFD full of air... life savers come in all colors, shapes and sizes and keep you from drowning in every metaphorical way. I consider many people to be life savers - family, friends - and also things, like my job - it gets me out of the house, gives me some kind of routine, offers challenges to my mind and my analytical thinking, and of course, brings me a much needed pay cheque.

Much by the same token, I consider my writing a life saver in that it keeps me absorbed and busy so that idle hands don't feed idle mouth that ends up on idle butt and thighs. Sitting for long periods of time is not life saving, however. It's a tug-of-war because I still am not really interested in doing much more in the way of exercise even though I realize the expenditure of calories is what I need most to find success with this diet challenge.

Today I went for more tests... I do believe they are the last batch until next month's check on the cholesterol level. Nothing now but the waiting and if I don't hear anything, that's good news. It will then be all up to me and I'll have to step it up a notch - just wondering how that's going to be possible when I am already doing too much. The good news from today was that I apparently have dropped another 3 pounds since my last doctor's appointment.

I also read recently that the body holds onto weight due to the deficiency in calcium and you have trouble losing weight when your body's working against you to hold on to it. My doctor just prescribed 1500 mg of calcium per day as well as 2000 iu of Vitamin D (I use the D3 combo) and Kelsey and I also started taking flax seed oil caplets. So hopefully, with all these little changes, things will start to move along.

All in all, I consider myself to be doing, moderately well. Looking forward to an enjoyably busy summer and some much needed sunshine now... hint, hint weather.

Weekend Report

So. I stressed all the way to the west end for this echocardiogram, thinking it might be a treadmill test of some kind vowing to accept failure if they needed me to run - no running with this body, it would kill my knees - anyway, traffic was crazy and I was trying to find a building I've never been to before all the while thinking "damn, don't make me run... I'm going to fail..." In reality, if I had read my test requisition thoroughly I would have realized it was under "ultrasound" and therefore does not require standing, let alone walking and running. Whew! Good thing they weren't taking my blood pressure.

IT was a bit uncomfortable lying there - hold that, lean this way, put your arm up there - then, I'm laughing to myself thinking "my god, there's something about everything, isn't there?" It could have been worse and it wasn't so bad. Tired me out, though, running about here and there. Went home none the worse for wear and had a nap. I will have to wait until the doc gets the results because they (the clinic) are not at liberty to say anything about people's tests - I don't expect to hear anything, really, I hope...

Ankles and feet seem to be doing much better although the swelling has not completely disappeared. At least I can slip my shoes off and on without employing a pry bar and a vice....... Water consumption - check. Awareness of food and eating habits - check. Realization that foods containing golden brown coating or color are bad for me and must be ousted from the diet. Checking. Realization that all my bad lifestyle habits were passed down to my daughter during the processes I used as a single parent with no time and money - and now we both try to make changes. Check out. Realization that changes must come from action - not speaking. Check, please.

I don't think that in the grand scheme of things there has been any gain (ooops, don't say that word) in monetary values although health values may increase - buying groceries that must consist of healthy foods costs money. We have in relation to that (or the other way around, rather) reduced our trips to fast food joints and therefore put that money to better things - like healthier foods from the grocery story. Let's face it, buying good bread, whole grains, fruits and vegetables, fresh vs. canned... it's more expensive than indulging in the time saving burgers and fries. In the long run, of course, it's a trade off that is better for you but in the meantime $200 grocery bills are new to me.

The upside is, my horoscope for 2010 reads that " a renewed commitment to diet and health shows instant results this fall." Can't wait for that pile of fat at my feet in September! What can I trade for a pound of flesh these days?

Fast, Fast, Fast

Fast. This is not just a reference to how the weekend is passing, dwindling away and with barely any sunshine at all! It is not warm here - they even have a "frost warning" flashing on the weather network for tonight. Glad I don't do the gardening thing. Still, it would have been nice to try out the lovely large lounging balcony, but perhaps there will be another time for that.

Instead of soaking up the sun or the rain as the case may be, I've been soaking up the monitor for the past two days. Working on some writing projects and posting new stuff to the blogs and web sites etc.etc... Spent the weekend at home alone and sometimes that is not a good thing for the food situation - meaning it is readily available any time - the one good thing about it is, we've recently invested in stocking the kitchen with healthy stuff. Can you really eat too much fruit or vegetables? I noticed an uncaring attitude towards eating after my disappointment on Friday - it almost feels like, what's the point? Try. Try harder. And still get nowhere?

No worries. The tests are underway in order to ensure I don't have some dread disease or something that might need more attention than I am willing to give at this time. No matter how much you do well, there is always something that is not good enough. I only drink 2 cups of coffee in the morning. Doc says that's good. I don't smoke. Doc says that's great. I haven't been eating chips (none since March 29 or prior) or chocolate bars (rarely) or too much ice cream ( a couple of times since March 29 or prior). I have cut out French Fries (only twice, April 3 and May 18 since March 29 or prior) and have increased my fruit and vegetable servings dramatically. I don't, however, get enough milk - see, always something - I have been eating yogurt, though, so that should count... now have to remember the supplement. Oh, well.

I really wonder sometimes if anyone really gets how hard this is - those who are going through it do, but anyone without a weight problem or a dependency on a need to fill a hole that you wouldn't think evident in a usually outwardly semi-contented, semi-happy person. There are so many worse things, I know, but this is my bane and I must endure. I try not to think in the negatives about being overweight, about being alone, about struggling to let go of stress and over indulgence.

I cry. I remember. I think. I stop and then start all over again. I go on. At times, it feels like for naught but it is ... it is for me. Am I not worth it?

p.s. Fast. Good way not to eat for a duration of time... and then again I think woo-hoo - not so bad as I'll be sleeping for most of it! Nothing for 12 hours - blood tests in the morning - yes the clinic is open. I noticed the sign on the door Friday when I had done what I could. Othello, my low talking, mumbling, and I couldn't hear half of what he was saying lab technician says "don't you want to come back when you're ready to do all the tests?" No... do what you can now and I will come back for the rest! So we did and I will and 8:00 on a holiday morning will come early.

The Answer is Blowing in the Wind

I guess that's the one of the comments that speaks to something that obviously doesn't have a convenient in your face answer. It also speaks to the day and the weather conditions outside. Leave it to Alberta to fan the fires with high temperatures, low moisture levels and increased wind velocity. I say this in reference to the wildfires that burn out of control northeast of here and it reminds me that there is always something worse than your own condition. Some things you can control - others are beyond it.

As we move through this life, lessons are learned and one would think they would have been learned long ago; however, sometimes the repetition of errors and the anguish of painful choices is the only way that correct answers eventually sink in. Like taking care of you- eating right, living healthy, keeping a positive attitude. It's what's right yet it is these very conditions that have to be applied, tried and relied upon for consistency.

Contentment and placement have never been my strong suit - there has always been some reason to move on, to change, to do something other than the status quo. Change for the sake of change just adds to an already disheveled lifestyle. Grounded. I need to be grounded - to the earth and nature - to natural and calm. It takes practice and application, but I see some light in the distance and there is always hope.

Our move away from convenience (as in fast food) and deletion of additives (as in preservatives and artificial) is making us (Kelsey and I) more aware of how certain things make us feel. Once you start to make a change, you realize the difference a little bit at a time can make. Cutting out greasy, fatty, high calorie empty foods that provide no nutritional value are one way to start to feel that change occurring. This is the kind of change we need. No French fries, potato chips, donuts, diet pop, canned goods that contain too much salt or MSG, etc... Can I have more fresh vegetables and fruit please? Yes. Definitely, yes!

It's a job in itself to keep up with this awareness but is it not the kind of thing that makes life better? Like I said before, some of these things should be done away with on the societal level to impose a widespread, healthy community cure. I can report that I feel a difference for me already and see it in Kelsey, as we both move together in support of a change that makes living and being healthy a priority.

There are still miles to go - but at least we are on the right path.

Lost in Pace

Returning to work after a dozen days away has been somewhat taxing on the system. I am most certainly feeling better - at least in the ways compared to feeling ill with the flue. There are others things that I have noticed returned upon my resumption of the daily grind. It only goes to confirm that I would be much better off staying home... I wish.

But seriously, I am not sure if it is the taxing nature of the get-up-and-go or intermittent lack of lack of movement that really gets to me; or the things that seem to be stressors - my daughter says I'm stressed out about stuff - I thought I was handling things well but apparently not. I have a desk job and it is necessary to remember to get up and wander about in order to keep from getting too stiff. Maybe it's the chair. Maybe it's the shoes I am wearing. I just don't know and it almost makes it impossible to formulate some kind of action. Some things can't be changed or helped so the results are not going to change either.

My legs and feet have begun to swell again ??? They were fine last week. So I asked myself what changed? I am watching what I eat and except for the over indulgence in cake the past weekend (okay, it was just Mother's Day and Birthdays and, yes I had to eat it although my daughter said "Mom, you can just throw it out." Really? Waste cake? No, and yes, because eating it "waists" it as well...) I am honestly doing much better with meals and snacks, etc.

We have been cooking more at home (evident by the number of dishes in the sink) and there have been no fast food stops. I've been having something for breakfast and have been making sure I have lots of vegetables and fruit. And water.

I have a doctor's appointment next week so this will begin the check ups and tests - usually and otherwise - for everything to see what's up and what's wrong or what's right. It will be good to get results and know that for sure it's not something serious. If all is okay, I will then push a little harder and try to do more to increase my activity. It's a wait and see game for now but I am feeling good about the prospects, for the time being.

Keep on Going

The days go by as they usually do and it's almost another weekend - the time that most employed people look forward to, well, at least those employed people who work Monday to Friday. I missed a couple in between there with a few down days as I felt under the weather, so to speak. My back was giving me grief and every other part of me seems to chime in with sympathy creating a general feeling of blah! The weather was a bit cooler so sometimes I wonder if my problem is more arthritic. In any case, I needed the rest and the ability to just do nothing if I chose. I tend to like those days very much as I don't really do nothing - I write and do little things here and there. I rest when needed but the most important thing is that I just stay home.

Not everyone has that luxury and it has taken me quite a few years of working to find the job that allows me this flexibility - my back or weight issues have not interfered with my work and I want to keep it that way. My work is brain not braun driven, good thing, although long days in front of the computer can take its toll on a body in so many different ways. It is important to move, get up and stretch - I make sure I do this or else I won't be moving much at all. Those back pills first thing in the morning allow me this mobility until there is a stabbing reminder to shift positions for a moment.

Yesterday was a good day, well as good as it can be right now - there is that niggling feeling that if I do too much I could be in pain again. Although I drank my water as required, I made the mistake of not eating all day. This is something I know to be the wrong way to go for proper body fueling... sometimes you just go along, consciously ignoring pointed cravings and it's like eating is not one of the things high on your list of things to do. I wish this were the case all the time but as time goes on it will get easier to move it down the list.

I spent a wonderful evening with my Mom - we enjoyed supper together and shared a few laughs and conversation. I have to say that the supper we had did not stay with me long and we even commented at one point during the visit "why do I still have weight on me if things I eat go right through me?" By the time I got home later that evening, more stuff was moving through me... so feeling hungry, I finished up another bottle of water and had some fruit for a snack while watching Survivor.

There are a number of things that keep me going and it is my hope that by blogging this challenge I can manage to make it past that point of giving up in sheer despair. Often while doing what you know is right, there are feelings of "why am I doing this... struggling and suffering through this?" But right there is the most important reason to do anything for yourself - to lessen the struggle and the suffering. It's worth the challenge to live right, live healthy and live long.