WTF it's March

Excuse my bluntness, but the aptly title blog post today, addresses my ongoing issue and my apparent ineptness with dealing - if I let myself go all rangy on me, I could say "by now you might have done some good!" When I signed off on the last post you will see that I basically said "to heck with it." It's not that I don't have time to write a blog post! Just search me out and you will find a plethora of words  aplenty in other areas. The publishing business has been extremely busy and rewarding; my job is still a feature of my everyday and I make it there most days; and although you cannot possibly ignore your health situation as you go about your normal day, it is easy to say "I am not going to fret over it either" because frustration leads to failure, at least for me. Since my last post, I have been to the doctor several times and tests show great work on the cholesterol levels - they are down and working with the help of prescription and making some not-so intrusive changes to diet. My blood pressure, however - well, that's another story, being up enough to garner a second prescription. The back is still an issue and my knees continue to bother me. I think the doctors don't take that as serious because they think that if I lose the weight I will not have these problems. It wouldn't hurt to try, I guess, but the conundrum ends up confused with the vicious cycle of pain... I don't cuz it hurts, it hurts so I can't... 

Excuses. But valid from my perspective with all that I do - if I put myself out of commission totally there will be more than just health issues. I take it easy. I rest when necessary and I don't do what I can't do. With spring in the air again, I really, really want to look and feel better. I am cutting down again and hoping that energy can push me to do more = more activity = pain management = a slow push the other way > for the good. 

Here's to spring and here's to trying. Again. Wish me luck.  

Trying but at least it's Spring

I'm still here although it's been awhile. A disappearing act is often my style. I think on it and ponder some more - waiting for opportunity to open its own door.

Water down. Pain up. Walk more - then can't move. Still on proper meds and still have to book new appointments to check into getting check ups. Knees hurt, back bothers me, off and on. It's been a battle with myself, knowing what's right and not caring what's wrong. I also know that I am the only person who can change it. I think of good things, feel good about my work and my writing, love my friends and family... but it's not enough and I don't have time or energy to try or keep trying or concentrate on anything else.

All I can say is... at least it's Spring!

Time and Temptation

So... don't look at the date and say "where have you been?" I know, I know... you're probably thinking I fell off the apple cart and baked a few pies on my way down. Oh, ye o' little faith... lol.

I can actually report a very good week and am starting to feel better - off and on - in some ways. The water consumption is "flowing" along as I remember to have at least 3 bottles a day and I am working my way up to more. No matter - it's becoming a habit. I have also steered clear of the fast food places except for a couple of McWraps the other night when I was running here, there and everywhere after my writer's meeting - yes, it was way back on Tuesday. I think that's a big one for me - not stopping along the way home just because it is easy to do so AND I don't think about grabbing more than I really need to fill that hunger that might have been ignored earlier on.

Another great step in the right direction includes having breakfast most every morning which means I'm up early enough to take the time to do so. I don't like to be late but I have noticed when there are too many things on my plate (ah, don't you love that expression......focus.......) I tend to run a little behind at times. Thinking on correcting that as we speak and then I look at the clock, knowing it is time for bed but I'm still trying to fit in as many things as possible before I do, because I know that this week is going to be another crazy one.

I have had some good food this past week, remembering whenever possible to eat more fruit or vegetables than other stuff and sometimes leaving out certain things altogether - like no bread or no fries or no pastry with my coffee. I did stop once for a specialty coffee when a group of us met after our Conference set-up on Friday night. It was a green tea latte and I felt I deserved it this one time. I have also worked up a sweat a couple of times the past week and I remember hearing somewhere that if you don't your body doesn't clear toxins or something like that. There is another conundrum due to the fact that things hurt and to move at a fast enough pace to work up a sweat, is sometimes not possible BUT I am not giving up and sitting this one out just yet.

The keeping busy is what keeps me on track because I have too much to do that it doesn't allow me to sit and do nothing - like watch endless TV. I will catch a show here and there, probably no more than a couple of hours per week and I do like to watch movies, and lately, it works out to about one a week. I have a stack of books by my bed that I have started to read (one at a time!) and the bulk of my time, other than work is writing and writing-related. Movement and stretching is of utmost importance because all of my work and hobbies and interests involve sitting - my butt loves it but the rest of my body doesn't because I even get stiff and sore just sitting.

This week ended with a gratifying close as the 2010 Writers Conference for the group I belong to hosted a very successful event on Saturday. I was tired and sore but the feelings and memories that will last from that day made up for the physical depletion - I went home and needed to rest. I lay down by 7:00 pm and slept; although not straight through, I didn't get up again until 7:00 am Sunday morning.

Another piece of good news for the week - the doctor's office where I put my name on the list to become a new patient called, and I now have an appointment on Friday this week. It will be good to discuss with her everything that needs to be done and check everything out. Peace of mind will further help my challenge, especially if nothing is seriously wrong - then I know I can really push myself to succeed.

It's already a new day and a new week coming down to the end of my favorite month for another year. I've often told myself secretly "if I make it past my birthday, I'm here for another year" and I intend to make it a good one.

Ever feel like a walking bladder?

So, day one's attempt to hydrate properly has me visiting the facilities on a regular basis. It's the right thing to do - keep our bodies replenished with enough water that we don't retain it. It's what I've heard anyway - hopefully my swollen feet will go down soon as slipping into the shoes is a real chore!

I decided I'd better have some breakfast too - so an orange, two pieces of toast and a glass of milk helped wash down the vitamin I am determined to make a habit AND the usual morning dose of back pain medication. It's easy to make bad things a habit so why not try to make the things that are good for you a habit too?

I think I will interject here a little tid-bit of information that might answer what some of you may be asking... "why don't you get your butt out and walk it off????" And the short answer would be, I'd love to but easier said than done. The weekend before Christmas I did a lot of walking - you know shopping and all the running around that goes with the season - and the Monday before Christmas we had a staff lunch and gift opening *up and down stairs twice* then I visited a friend's office after work *up and down stairs* and then we (the girls I work with) went to see Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat at Festival Place where our seats were in the second level balcony *you guessed it, up and down stairs again*... At the time I was renting the basement suite area of the duplex I shared with my daughter and her boyfriend. Yes, downstairs. Tuesday = morning shopping. Wednesday = I couldn't walk, had to call in to work and later that day my daughter went shopping for a cane! I spent the rest of my Christmas break (I was off until after New Year's, good thing) recovering from a pulled/sprained/twisted/ or just a plain old overworked knee.

I am still favoring it and trying to absorb some of the pain without taking Tylenol as well as the back meds, although, that is usually not the case, especially if I want to assume a somewhat normal life.

So the swelling can also be due to injured or stressed joints, especially my knees, but possibly hips and of course, the good old lower back. Knees have not been my strong point since about 1997 when I had the left one go on me so badly that it hurt to sit, stand, drive, lie down and just be. I took heavy doses of Glucosamine for several months and never had a problem with it again. It is my weak knee though and the strength in it is gone. In 2005, during a brief hiatus to Toronto, I worked security in a 9-floor bank office building. It was great fun and I learned a lot, however, due to a shoe malfunction I pulled my left knee. Boy that breakdown in footwear is not apparent until AFTER the fact and the damage is already done. So my good knee now becomes not much better that my bad knee and with the incident just a few months ago, sometimes it is slow going and often painful. I am now not only watching what, where and how I sit to ease the back pain, I am watching what, where and how I walk.

Hence, the walking for the benefits of losing weight are out for the time being. The increased water has me jumping up quite early a couple of times in the morning though, so perhaps this can be considered "increased activity?"